i think my mom watched the whole time
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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