i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
