The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
