Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
