he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
