how do flat chested girls get laid?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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