god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
