it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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