there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So here I am, sexting at work.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize