and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
