I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
