In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
