Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
