I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
