she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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