I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
