hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
