he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
lets start a swedish sibling band together
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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