why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
