Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
