Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
