im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
