Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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