I want to make a zoo with you.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
