Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
