11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
