all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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