Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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