i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
