Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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