Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
