Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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