i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
