Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The Olympian is in my bed
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
