the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He? As in you personified your dick?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
