Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
