I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me