ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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