So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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