you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
