I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
