I swear she didn't look like that last week.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
last night I used snow as a chaser
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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