Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
