Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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