There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
