I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
