Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
