well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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