look no pants
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
