Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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