Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
