Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
