is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
PANTIES FOUND
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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