hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
