I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
How external is "for external use only"?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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