so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
