HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
COCAINE IS GR8
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
