2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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