he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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