I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize