I wanna bring you to show and tell
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
