i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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