Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
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