there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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