Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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